Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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