I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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