I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You work out of a Hotel?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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