she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Randomize
