I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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