Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
