Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
