woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
