I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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