I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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