How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
