direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
