My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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