I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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