best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
