____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
