it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
