I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
