Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
