I just threw up on my dentist
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
