I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
