All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
We are all done wearing pants today
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
