Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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