he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
