conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I think people are normalizing furries
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
