We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
