Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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