Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
