girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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