found the other keg... it's in the tree
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
