i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
