Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
