And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
