i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Who put my cat in the fridge?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
