why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
FUCK WHALES
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
