I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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