and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I am available for nakedness
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
