I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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