I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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