Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
