Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Randomize