im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
