I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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