After last night, I could never be a politician.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
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