I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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