my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
