I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
