Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
