Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
