Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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