come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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