i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
