Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
