As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
