the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
420 ftw
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My liver just had a heart attack.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
