drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My life is pants optional.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
