Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
