Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
