Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Randomize
