Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize