How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
